Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Monday, November 17, 2008

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves

I havn't written in this in a while mostly because I know that no one but Ben is really going to read it lol. But, I should continue none-the-less.
The only guarantee in life is the guarantee of change and I'm rather thankful for that. It's been an extremely challenging and difficult few months at minimum and the need for change in my life is great. I am heading in a direction I have never been before, and for the first time in my life, I have gained the courage to ask for help in getting there. Although things have not gone as I had planned or hoped, I know my friends and family are behind me, moreso then I could have hoped for.
Change has always scared me. Fear of the unknown, the new and the challenge that goes with it. This acceptance of change and the positive association I have given it, has happened previously to me, usually when a relationship ends. I feel uplifted, free and overwhelmed with opportunity. Last time I told myself I wouldn't stay in a relationship if I knew I should get out, I wouldn't compromise myself for their benefit, and I wouldn't loose myself in the process. It seems I have done all of this again and feel worse about that then anything.
However, I am starting back on the path to who I am and though I never expect to truly find me, it is the process of self-discovery I am greatly looking forward too.